Desktop Confessionals

PT.

2011-03-27T11:51:00.002+08:00

Don't get your knickers in a twist.
Aint talking bout physical training.
I'm chattering about pity man.
Pity for thou.

Joyous was thee.
Before grease became glee.
Became attractive,
it was but addictive.

Thou never had attention
Not worth a freaking mention
But when thou rise demons thou met
At the end of it all
thou broke more than a sweat

High men
Low men
yellow fellow
black swallow
gone was thee common sense
out with thy innocence

Pity
thou cant get me
but its ok
ill try to smile for another day

Rites of passage
coming of age
i hope as thou live longer
thou will become stronger

thou deserve the best
that cut above the rest
tho' it might slice and dice
all it's trying is to be nice.

refresh your memory
to that month in january
where lovebirds roam
and to thy beach we comb

i am a dog
not a mere bitch
treat me not like a log
and if its thou ill never ditch

im atop a tower
with me binoculars
ill get down with a flower
together we'll chase cars.

it's been choppy
that i wont deny
its time to be happy
cuz my love is but benign.

Throttle.

2011-03-27T03:28:00.002+08:00

You know something's not right when you rev the engine and all you get is a whisper.
No matter how hard you throttle it'll move, but it'll remain silent.
You finger the brakes, thinking should you halt.
Or should you stop,
grinding through the asphalt.

My bike is in good condish.
But some parts still stinking like a fish.

Hide.

2011-03-26T19:40:00.002+08:00

Raw Hide.
Love that song when the Blues Bros perform.
But with what you did.
I've a feeling youve something to.

Madness to sadness.

2011-03-26T18:36:00.003+08:00

It's been a totally mad week.

Rushing assignments, fulfilling work obligations, hell i'm not even trained son!
Maybe the early morns, the late nights and the dearth of sleep is taking its
toll on me.

Feeling a phlegmatic lump in my throat.
Feeling warm under the air-conditioning.
Feeling dizzy after sports.

It's just not gonna get any better, I guess.
The inamorata is unimpressed.
The football team just lost.
And im sick boss!

Another outing beckons.
A void ensues.
Golden silence.
Indifferent expression.
The denials.
The awkward touch.
The awkward letting-go.

Lets just fuck life in the face and order a deep throat.
I said lets order a deep throat muthafukka.
Lets just be happy.
Forget the dirty bit.
Get down, do the roger rabbit.

Star, or not, i shall shine and sparkle.
Baby, I will twinkle twinkle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XSVFXBjgtA

Finally

2011-03-26T01:49:00.003+08:00

... the Jack has come back ... HOME.

Damn right, after almost a freaking two-year hiatus --
the JACK is BACK!

Lemme just remind you who the fuck gsj is.
I go by many monikers, depending on boobs, mood and massage parlours.
But Daniel Bapakko and Jack stands out like a boner in the Playboy Mansion.

I was born in the 80s, in the Year of the Dragon, so go figure.
I use to waste my parents' money in Innova Jc and waste the government's --
as a senior officer in one of the Home Team Agencies.

I love girls and they never fail to fail me.
Emotionally, physically, spiritually -- the lot.
I do have a dependent now, though.
So girls, it's time for me to fail you!

I love chicken more than girls, but not even for a mill would I bone one.
No, not the calcium kind, I'm talking 'bout the meaty kinda bone.
Laugh it off.

As much as I like it to be, my life is not an open book.
In other words, I dont splash my dick pics all over facebook.
I wished my life was more f***book than f***book.
Guess which is which, bitch.

Oh, and did I tell you for the love of The Game?
Nein, not Neil Strauss' Magician razzmatazz!
More of Pele's football, Lalas' soccer.
That's right -- the game where an obscene amount of full-blooded men run and hurt one another to get a sphere and put in the opposition's net.

Come t' think of it, it' like chasing girls too.
But that, shall be an independent discussion on another day.

Now that you know me enough to call me Jack,
I shant say much further.
I dont wanna be called J. Nor JoJo.

Though I find it imperative I blog my personal growth.
So that in a few years time, post-hiatus, I can re-read my posts
and chart my growth index.
When I say chart, I mean write.
I aint no seafarer, nor a mathematice.

Last I checked, I did not have the licence to kill, w-what, drive.
I did not have a girlfriend. (read: dependent, heh)
I did not have a job.
I did not play regularly.
I hated Apple.
I had fuck-all in my bank.

And I was complaining of smoking.

Here's the dealio, mi amigo, whoever you are.

I'm attached like juke and jive,
And I'm more than allowed to drive;
I use an iPhone not the Android,
And since early Jan, I was employed.

Money come, money go,
Bitches here, i'm rolling the dough;
All is fact, the truth, no shitting,
Fact is, i've quit quitting.

Bear with me,
cuz' i do compre-;
frowns -- show your dismay
at least this isnt as bad as Reb's Friday.

So, there it was.
A wrap to the rap.
And Reb.

Til the smoke clears and dust settle.
My name is Jack.
Thank you for not smoking.

Fever Pitch

2009-08-29T20:50:00.002+08:00

As expected, my entry in the tnppostman was published in The New Paper on Friday! HAHA talk about humility.
So yeah, I am Dinie A, 20, ManUtd fan.
And posted above are the predictions for this week's round of matches.

Enjoy, XD

Winston

2009-08-19T13:22:00.000+08:00

tastes good like a cigarette should :)

Lost

2009-08-16T22:37:00.002+08:00

No, not another episode of a never-ending series but rather my current state of affairs.

Lost spiritually, am I on the wrong path?
So what is the right path?
Should I just follow the yellow brick road?

You're It.

2009-08-14T01:56:00.000+08:00

Tag .. YOURE IT!

Just as an aside, Tagged is becoming, in my esteemed opinion,
a realm for ladyboys.
I just added another.
Shites.

I Thaw A Putthycath

2009-08-13T16:02:00.001+08:00

I'm on twitter, ladies and germs.
And already, ive 11 followers.
3 of which are webcammers (ithink) doing their best to well, spread the word.

Fuck Facebook in the FACE!

2009-08-10T23:13:00.002+08:00

Casual bloggers go through a phase.
They disappear.
And then magically reappear.
This is mine.

a) Why the hiatus? (see (c))
b) Why the reemergence? (ditto)
c) FACEBOOK.

My life has deteriorated in a way that when I wake up, I FB.
I heat up my tehtarik and then I FB.
I still go out though.
But when I return home, undies to protect me modesty, I FB.
Tak mandi, tk cuci kaki tak cuci muker.
Straight away FB.
But I ain't gonna lie, FB's the shit YOW!

In The Pocket

2009-04-13T02:28:00.002+08:00

8.01 has been scrunched up, rolled around my palm and embedded deep in my trousers.
It is in the pocket!
Now for the test that I've never imagined myself having to face up to.

On another note, I'm missing soccer, futbol, bola and discipline.
I need a new job and one that does not revolve around tending to obnoxious expatriates or snobbish locals wanting their meals served with the right amount of cream, parsley and waiting time.
I realised that a job keeps me straight-edge and disciplined and helps to combat the ills of being young and impressionable.
Til' we meet again, I promise you pics, vids and multimedia that will not bore you like a Stay Home Saturday Night movie.

Boom

2009-04-10T12:30:00.002+08:00

A snazzy new track by the BEP.
Dedicated to Ahmad V for hating the song and asking the FongSeng uncle what time his shop closes.

Til then, bob your head, likeyou mean it.

Idle

2009-04-08T10:28:00.003+08:00

My aunt's got a new pet kitten, Kimi.
A silver, brownish hued feline found in the hard streets of Bukit Batok.
Ferocious lil cat, that one but according to me aunt she likes me.
Well, who doesn't?

And I've created a new Gmail address.
My uncle thinks my email address deserves formality and a certain degree of seriousness.
flamemission, just wouldn't cut it. i concur.
no one would freakin take me seriously.
and about time too. nine years living behind my pre-adolescent phase screename.
ask me for my new email addy.
i dont want things to get out of hand and be compromised.
right, zaknius? XD

Mustafa

2009-03-29T22:18:00.000+08:00

Two words. Gerek, beb!

Back

2009-03-29T00:29:00.002+08:00

To my legion of followers (3 and counting... ), I deeply regret the latest uninformed hiatus that lasted a bland two weeks.
I have not hit a writer's block, fear not.
I was experiencing technical difficulties with this blog, a phenomenon known to lesser human beings as 'lazy' .

Things to update:
1) I am now working.
2) I am not bumming.
3) I am into my fifth winston-free day.
4) Straight-edge IS the way to go.

On a lighter note, I met me buddies from Purple Pussy Venus (PPV) Aiman and Iman for a sumptuous supper of teh tarik and nasi goreng ikan bilis.
Two things stood out, besides Aiman's helmet of a hair.
Me: My friend join ManHunt siol.
Iman: For who, Mas Selamat again ?

And Helmethead Aiman got shocked by a sleeping kitten.
It was resting on its back.
Aiman was taking pictures.
It snapped onto all fours in a menacing pose.
The helmet nearly flew off, I swear.

Benjamin Button

2009-03-15T19:23:00.002+08:00

No, I've yet to watch Ben Button.
But I'm somehow well-furnish with the skeletal details of the movie.
And I gotta say this kid or rather 'kid', is actually BEN BUTTON.
It's the only possible explanation.
He's only eleven.
AND HES THAT FRIGGIN GOOOOOD !

Say it wimme SUNG - JUNG - HA !

Grin Lite

2009-03-13T14:28:00.005+08:00

It has been five days of the week.
And I'm still plagued with migraine.
My neck's hurting, my back is aching and I've yet to turn 21 !

On another note, I just realised why my mom have discontinued her morning walks for the week.
No, it's not sickness.
It's not the weather.
It's not me.
It's Sadness, rather.

Originating from a friend of hers who somehow likes to compare her son to me even though im naturally smarter, more handsome and certainly more desirable in bed than her pimply, geeky son who looks like a bespectacled Walter Kovacs from Watchmen.
Apparently her son got into NUS and she kept asking me mom what school am I attending this coming Jul/Aug.
When my mom said most prolly SIM, she went into a barrage of questions saying in malay of course
" Is it even accredited ?"
" Isn't it more expensive ?"
" My son said Even O Level students can enroll into SIM"

in a condescending, disapproving and mocking tone that saddened me mom.
Well listen, you dont make me momma sad no no.
Dinie says this if you wanna make me momma sad again im bring my ass down there to your nonsense morning walk take your smelly tudung off, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick em straight up your wrinkly ol candy ass!
It dont matter if your 15 or 50 immba open a can of whoop ass.
Imma swear if my mom complains again ill do just that.
Im just waiting for the go-ahead.
Im just waiting for the green light.
But till then, I guess this'll do.

Number One

2009-03-06T14:33:00.002+08:00

Twenty one in fact.
Twenty one reasons why you should bring your best friend to Fish&Co on his birthday.

1)Nice food.
2)Gigantic portions
3)Nice beverages
4)HYUUUGE mugs/cups/container
5)Great ambience
6)Friendly staff
7)Very vocal staff
8)Alot of ppl during peak hours, but enough space for you
9)Prompt service
10)Birthday special service
11)Able to cue the staff to sing the ORIGINAL BDAY SONG by whispering
12)Gives very delicious vanilla ice cream cake
13)Candle looks edible (Right, zaknius?)
14)Staff makes birthday boy/girl stand on the chair
15)Staff shouts out to other patrons about the birthday boy/girl
16)Staff provides sparkler
17)Staff sings an ORIGINAL BDAY SONG !
18)Staff then cues for applause
19)Staff the sings the conventional bday song
20)Birthday boy/girl feels utterly embarrassed and abashed but still shares his birthday vanilla ice cream cake
21)Birthday boy/girl gets 10% discount for total bill

*deep breaths*

HAPPY 21st ZAKNIUS ! YOU OLD FOGEY XD

C**kroach

2009-03-04T00:48:00.003+08:00

That ladies and gentlemen, is a freaking cockroach.
That is what we see in Singapore.
And that is my best friend's best friend.

I just had an up-close-and-personal experience with the six legged creature that is both a pest and a delicacy depending on which side of the world you're living.
When alive it looks gross.
Whe dead ie stepped on ie squished ie drowned ie scalded with really hot water it still looks freaking gross.

And so this creature thought I feared it's mere existence and somehow or rather crawled its greasy way onto my grey bermudas whilst I was flippin out my tee shirt.
I noticed a brown substance on my right thigh from the mirror and to my bemusement the slimy lil thing.
Brushing it off, it had the audacity to pollute my ceramic tiles!
I took out my faulty lighter and threatened to squish it and dirty my gleaming ceramic tiles.
Plan B.
Plastic bag in hand, I chased down the whimpering lil S.O.B caught it and squeezed hard. Freaky things emerged from the vice-like grip as I proceeded to parade my cathc to my bro.
He observed with bated breath.
HAHA apparently his best friend too.
If my dad were there, he'll step on it use his bare hands to scoop it up and show it off to mom.
Not his best friend.

Freaking shit of a creature.
Stupid name.
Wrong country.
Wrong bermudas to be messing with.
God have mercy on its slimy soul.

That Sinking Feeling

2009-03-01T20:17:00.002+08:00

I feel like a Boro player, loaned to West Bromwich Albion.

My teams havent been winning and there's this sick feeling in your gut
that we're going down.
Another football outing, another 5bucks spent an another forgettable loss.
I just cant describe the agony.

But on the bright side, referees keep coming up to me saying i can really play.
Tell that to Selvaraj will you ?
F**k eh.

Other Side

2009-03-01T00:45:00.002+08:00

Apologies, I've been far too busy splashing money on fast food and the cancer sticks that I couldnt devote much time on the weblog.
Another meal swathed in oil and guilt-laden calories at one of me fave fastfood outlets.
Im feeeling waaaay guilty. HAHA.

Oh and if you happen to work in a fast food outlet and the customer requests, not demands, requests for a change in an item or a food variety, attend to him with grace and courtesy.
Don't just bellow CANNOT even before the customer could finish his request.
Thank you.

Be True

2009-02-26T01:59:00.002+08:00

Truthfully, I am hurting.
Physically that is.
But if I were to be true to myself, I am hurting in more ways than one.
Truth is, stoppppppp it.
=)

Yours truly is on a one-week trial with True Fitness.
Catch is for the first day you turn up, you gotta listen to the 'consultant' wax lyrical about the gym, your body, the importance of health, the gym and how it is in him to help you gain by slashing the membership prices so that you can work out your body to improve your mind, fitness health blah blah blah zzzzzZZzzzzz ....

Hit the center for the first time and I was impressed. Woah. Hyuuuuge !
Not lacking any space nor equipment but we will have to wait on the fit chick factor.
But who'se there to sight see.
We're there to pump IRON !

It's turning out to be a truly worthwile deal.
Spacious environment.
Air-conditioned.
Great, great music !
And I swear the cust svc officers are friendly hahaha
Two pitfalls though, the membership price of 79bucks/mth and the location, Suntec City mind you.

Lemme remind you I am still an honorary member of the Unemployed Club and I stay in the princely suburbs of Teck Whye.
Ouch is right.

Oh, and a few more days to D-Day.
It's not looking good.
Like does not equate love.
But Im keeping my fingers in crescent-and-stars (imma moslem!)

And dont cha just love the song El Fuego below hmm hmm

Still Waiting

2009-02-23T14:07:00.002+08:00

Last week was a mere thought.
This week's gonna be reality.
The million dollar question has been popped.
And now, we wait.

In the mean time check this shizz out will ya?

El Fuego - Pitbull

Love Lockdown

2009-02-21T15:41:00.001+08:00

You're a wonder.
If i be king will you be my queen ?

Nuovo

2009-02-19T02:10:00.002+08:00

When someone new, someone exciting comes into my life and breathes vigour and passion, I always find ways and means to dig up my past and try to analyse em and work on em so that I will be much better.
This mind process sounds real good but it sure is detrimental to my feelings and my state of mental well being.
Detriment, you say?
Exactly. My mind will wind back to the days where i was a bt batok sec student and instantly realising how under-achieved, under-accomplished and downright kental i was.
then the disaster that was innova.
i played too much footy, that no one knew me and my grades plunged into the ultimate abyss. I got no recognition, I garnered no awards and post-National Slavery I hve to suffer the embarrassment of being school-less, course-less and well, useless.
misery compounded when i tell my NS tale.
a tale of sordid affairs with the other side, late night partying, wasting my life like a rich spoilt brat and the squandering of a copious amount of dough.
i just checked my bank account balance.
it does not belong to an ex-leftenant from civil defence. period.
im tired. i keep beating myself up, rewinding my sins, replaying my losses and never once can i come up with something positive to cheer me on.
maybe im just not trying hard. or maybe not trying at all.

at nights like this, when a new person enters the equation, i evaluate my self.
and maybe too harshly.
bt theyre all cold hard truths.
and i cannot handle the truth.
i wanna be known.
i wanna be recognised.
i wanna win something.
i wanna break a record.
i wanna get a hot bod.
i wanna top the nation academically.
i wanna be a successful young man with the world beneath his proverbial wings.
i wanna on teevee.
i wanna be on air.
i wanna be with you.

usually, post-evaluation i'd given up, threw in the towel and concede my shortcomings and provide no alternate debate to extol me virtues.
it shall change.
for if icant motivate the girl, she will motivate me.
and i will be successful.
i will get my licences.
i will win a host of things.
i will have a frakin hot bod.
i will be young and envied.
i will be on tv.
i will shock your air waves.
and i most certainly will be with you.

P.S Nvr give me lonely nights. I will think. Overthink.

Too Phat

2009-02-17T22:44:00.003+08:00

After an oil-drenched, guilt-inducing meal at Long John's and ofc the obligatory aft-meal special heh, I decided this is it.
No more.
So, the new and determined me set out on a lung-bursting run cum jog cum endurance training.
I tried to rope in friends from the neighbourhood to no avail.
Either they blame genetics or the highly-creative "im not feeling well" kinda thing.
So, loading my field pack with a 30 pound plate off I went fora 30min jaunt around the neighbourhood.
Along the way, temptations were not lacking.
Regrets bountiful, thoughts aplenty.
It kept me running though.
And ladies and germs, I actually completed a full 30 min workout with a 30 pound weight in me bag.
Not satisfied with hard manual labour, the overzealous Dinie set out on google to calculate my body fat.

The results:
Using your measurements of a 30.5 inches waist and weight of 165 pounds your body fat percentage is estimated to be 12.58 % using the U.S. Navy body fat formula, or 11.38 % using the formula developed by the YMCA.

Neither method is as accurate as a water displacement test, but is usually within 1-3% for most people. If you have a very small waist, it will show a low value. On the other hand, if you carry all your extra weight around your middle, you may have an elevated percentage. Please note that having this extra weight in the middle is a high risk factor for heart disease and stroke. The waist to hip ratio calculator can give you more information.

Men are typically lower in body fat percentage, averaging around 23%, with an ideal of about 15%. Highly fit athletes are between 5-10%. Remember these are guidelines; your physician should help you determine the ideal weight and body fat for you.

I'm aiming for a 10 percent body fat by 3 months.
Ripped, fit and very solid.
Im talking about my plan.
And hopefully, my future body. :)

If youre itching to count em body fat percentage, whip out your ancient measuring tape and go to this website.
http://www.healthstatus.com/cgi-bin/calc/calculator.cgi

Now that's just tooooo phat.

Dump

2009-02-16T20:54:00.002+08:00

I feel so down.
It's just so spontaneous, so natural I'm almost embracing the fact that I'm down.
Not to say that there is not a chimera of hurt, anger or gap in me.
But question me not for I myself cant put a finger on what's bothering me and making me feel in the dumps.
It has been 20 yrs of my life and it has been riddled by unachieved potential, bloated promises and hesistancy.
20 yrs of I should, I could not I have, I had, I am !
Am i too hard on myself?
Is my quest and thirst for self-improvement, success and glory retarding me?
Is the yearn for the positives churning out more negatives.
Im saddled with too much thought and far too little actions.
And I can envisage some of you sniggering when reading this post for Ive just wasted a fraction of my day writing out this post.
Well, I have and I shouldn't.
But I did.

My thoughts are in a mess right now.
Fuzzy even.
And I'm sooo down
So down in the dumps.

Oh Bummer

2009-02-12T23:07:00.005+08:00

I know.
Im a month late.
But better late than never didnt yer momma sed?
Introducing the Obamicon.
guaslackjack style heh heh.
yours truly lookin great in red, pale blue and beige.
very american indeed XD

you can mos defly get yours at http://obamiconme.pastemagazine.com/entries/new.html
all you need is a fairly good webcam, a creative mind and a hearty smile.
and signing up for an account is waaay easy.

Half-baked

2009-02-10T00:07:00.002+08:00

It started out rather promising.
I was on time, early, on time, passed my practicals, filled my days with activity, joy and companionship.
I was elated.
Beaming with self-pride even.
I walked with a confident swagger.
I talked half-cocky, half full of myself.

But things slowly came to a head.
That promising start petered out into another half-baked attempt of self-improvement.
I once again filled my days languishing in the pits of regrets, of what could have been and what should hv been.

It's slowly becoming familiar.
It is contemptuous.
It is threatening to be routine.
It sucks.

Fragile

2009-02-03T17:05:00.003+08:00

I weathered the comfort of my bed.
I took on the cold shower with my heart on my sleeve( and my hairs on end)
And I valiantly ate popiah at break neck speed.
Downing my obligatory morning teh tarik, got my adidas windbreaker and I was off.

six fidy am my hp showed.
then a bus came.
it did not halt.
then another.
anddd, another.
anddd, another.
rinse and repeat.
sardine cans well disguised as buses passed by in a 30 minute frenzy.
i wasn't late.
if i was staying at west coast.
but fact of the matter is, i reside in the mean streets.
and im goddamn muhfuckin late !
so, the officer in me grabbed my htc.
dribbled its fingers on the touch screen.
and sent a message to my team leader the one the only - Adam.

Hi Dinie here dont think ill make it to work on time all buses were full.
Still waiting.
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

I was expecting a telling-off. A stern warning.
An expletive laden tirade.
But no, wot I got was prolly the most unintended humourous text evahhh.

I understand the conviences it ok u will be late 4 few minutes rporting 2 work but try ur best to get there not too late

understand my conviences ? wott ?!?
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
It certainly woke me up from me slumber.
And stretch a couple of my facial muscles.
Not only is it fragile, his Ingerlish is down right brokennn.
wahahahhahaha.
im soo gonna have an entertaining post-ord activity XD

Fed Ex

2009-02-02T23:02:00.004+08:00

Just embarked on my road to financial recovery at approximately 640am just now.
The chilly SMRT Bendy Bus ride did not help matters as I traverse from Teck Whye to Pasir Panjang in the ungodly hours.
Tommorow Im soo gonna wear a cardigan, scarf and a beanie.
The only time I've ever woken up that early was when I was a trainee dreading 5BX!
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Got a part-time gig as a helper for Fed Ex under the company name Hi-Ace.
A 2-hour cameo, unloading cargo - splitting cargo - and sorting documents.
A motley crew of 8 men, 2 PRCs, 6 Malay Abangs including ahem me of course.
Friendly people, I got their names on the first day at work (even the China Men !) and where they stay and who they're humping after work.

Tuesday's gonna be my 2nd day. I will meet the Team Leader Adam, get my thumb i/d and can start punching in an out like a seasoned veteran.
I shall gulung widdem, share their Halls mints, talk rat about that hot malay girl who we can 'bawak' or rather 'they' and lepak at the benches behind.
I'm so coool like that.

Parodize This!

2009-01-31T00:38:00.003+08:00

Haven't had the luxury of sitting my arse and wrestle with the dashboard for the past couple of days due to certain outdoor activities.
And when I'm not indulging myself neck-deep in those outdoor activities, I will be checking my facebook account, then on to the slut-fest that is tagged and top it all off with the dinosaur formerly known as friendster.
And then, MadTv.
My current fave Project Runway with an almighty twist. Ok, twists.
Check it out.

Shake Your Pom Pom

2009-01-28T21:06:00.002+08:00

A great track, oft heard in the relatively unknown club in a part of Singapore they call dbl o. No capitals please.
I love the intro though.

Shake Your Pom Pom - Missy Elliott

.. And, They're Off

2009-01-27T16:52:00.004+08:00

As often you hear in races, be it a steeplechase, a race car event or a 100m sprint, the commentator never fails to echo my title. And as for my life, that same commentator be it Mark Richmond or some Caucasian dood with a bloody deep voice can call upon their trusty ol' script and say " And they're off !"

A very enriching Sunday has brought about this rare turn of events. I came with a narrow mind, unwilling to comply and budging to change. Oh how powerful a day can be.
Interacted with really, really smart people who've achieved lots relative to age and still eating that same ol' humble pie that has been evading Matreps since the test of time. These really smart people offered insights into their life that has really inspired much change and forced a paradigm shift in yours truly.
Yearning to be a better individual, one really has to think through his past mistakes; his youth; his wastefulness; his brashness; and his folly. Analyse them, and generate learning outcomes.
I cannot be left alone, for I will think hard and I will think deep.
And most often than not, these thoughts will be plagued by negativity.
But by chillin out with dem smart arsed people, I've ushered in an air of positivity.
To think beyond the horizon and to think I can do it.
Slowly picking off my inferiority complex and lack of confidence, I believe I can move on to greater things.
However, never be too ambitious.
Baby steps gent'man, baby steps.
Hence, first worldly priority.
My Class 2B.

The baby steps to the elusive 2B.
What I need in this quest as for any other quest are the triple Ds.
Drive.
Dedication.
Discipline.
And to a 2b licence by the end of Feb, amin ya rabbal alamin.
Insyallah.

That's That

2009-01-26T00:36:00.004+08:00

I've decided.
And I've decided to stick with this blog template.
It might nt be my dream blog template; or personalised or portrays ME but a template is just a template. An online book cover.
And you do know what people say abt book, covers and judgment.

Hmm so a red, white and silver are the colours gsj.com will adorn for the moment.
It is simple nuff, neat nuff, sophisticated nuff (header) but other than that I believe the content and the thoughts of the bloggers is of greater importance.

And, good things hve come ut of this. I've spent hours on end working to personalise the template and have dipped my feet in Adobe Photoshop(like, finally!), understood smatterings of xhtml and re-kindle my knowledge of html.
Although it might seem a waste that I'm settling on an already-created template, great things have come out of it.
So, not too shabby, Xabi, I'd say.

Under Construction

2009-01-23T14:28:00.002+08:00

An all too familiar sign you see around this little ret dot we call home.
Ever expanding, ever improving and ever dirty.
You will never fail to see a section of Singapore filled with gondolas, dirty scaffolding, dusty equipment, dustier people and heaps and heaps of raw materials.
That's why we're number one. Or somewhere near there.

And as you see, I don't churn out my Post titles for no apparent reason.
My blog has gone backward.
Inna bid to 'zhng' or 'pimp' my blog template, I lost the imeem player, my picture and the zest of flair of the old blog template.
Now, what I have is all black.
Shabby.
Till a later date tbc, this blog is Under Construction.

quickf***

2009-01-18T23:53:00.002+08:00

Never type the words to the title in your google search.
If so, clear history asap.
I was caught.
And my folks thought I have been watchin pron which is absurd !
But how to explain to them when quickfuck is also the name of a cocktail ?

Four words.
Rock and hard place.
Go figure.

It's the Weekend !

2009-01-17T15:16:00.000+08:00

Everything has been elusive to me.
Girls.
Licence.
Money.
Motorbike.
Acceptance of the Higher Management.
Girls.
Playing for a club.
Burberry Weekend.

Yes, that citrusy, tangy eau de toilette that made my world go round.
Yes, that same c, t e d t that I bought for an exclusive retail price of 5 Brunei dollars which translates to 5 singapore dollars.
And now, I've got you my friend.
Presenting the original, authentic but more exorbitant BURBERRY WEEKEND

OH and did I tell you I'm turning 21 Oct24 this year?
I was filling up some survey form when the Cashier took a peek.

Cashier Sheh Ling: So, you're turning 21 this year (looks at my birthdate)
Me: Er,yeah ?
C S L: Oh, you don't look your age !
Me: Err haha, so is that a compliment or wot ?
C S L: Er, haha, you're mature looking lahr.

For the umpteenth time, someone tries to dispell the undeniable truth that I am twenty. From my recruits, to my Encik, to people in clubs which reminds me ...

Aidil (new acquaintance from dbl o): Eh, malam ni Movida power tk ? Aku tak pernah pergi ah thursday night
Me: (looking at him) Aku tak tahu siol.
Aidil: Ko tak pernah masok per?
Me: Aku belom cukup umor la sial!
Aidil: Huh, ko umor brape ?
Me: doplo siol
Aidil: (gasp)(laughs)

Yeb yeb, I look old. thanks. And for translations, do leave me a comment.
I will settle each one of my fan requests personally and patiently.

Whine Gyaal

2009-01-16T15:08:00.003+08:00

It started out like a fucking good dream.
It ended up a perpetual crescendo.
Played as the climax.
The aphrodisiac.
Whine - Enur ft. Beenie Man & Nat Storm
(check out my Flava of the Week; two scrolls down)

from the album Raggatronic by Enur.
Thank god for the Danish brothers and butter cookies !

Wired

2009-01-13T01:13:00.002+08:00

After an exhausting week of trial and error.
After futile attempts by two so-called heroes.
After persistent naggings and connecting (no pun intended here) parents-to-internet-connectivity-issues-which-have-no-apparent-link-whatsoever-and-is-unfair;
I have prevailed.
Router 0 - Dinie 1

Yes you of the Linksys WRT 54g2 series.
I have conquered you!
Bow to me, for I am yer master;
and you are my goddamn muthafunkin slave !

My 3rd achievement of the only 13-day old 2009.
1) Getting an exclusive and red-eye inducing 2 day work week (Tues, Wed)
2) Keeping my hair long and keeping it that way for the Operationally Ready Date.
3) Wiring up both my PC and my laptop.

On the downside, I only got a paltry 800buckeroos for the month of Jan.
Investigations are still on-going and specialist agents such as Mr. Frenchmouth and Mr.Fist have been roped in to aid in the quest for justice.
On the downerside, I am still a human chimney. Damn you Winner, damn you Sampoerna, damn you NEXT Chill.
Wait, I didn't mean all that. I love you guys. I love youuuu guyssssss!
I love you SDPC guysssssss!
note: SDPC = Singapore Duty-paid Cigarettes (read: Not for the faint of heart/hearts)
And on the downside of the downerside, ridiculous laws have been put in place so that smokers would have to share a brolly in the rain just so they could have their complimentary puff during legitimate breaks. They have to bring with them a 5-metre rule everywhere and a hand-book of the rare places in Singapore where smoking is human.

13 days into Jan and finally guaslackjack has been revived.
Baris, berikan tiga sorakkan kepada guaslackjack, dengan buka topi
HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY!
(an actual command no kidding or shitting)

Viva Revolucion

2008-08-08T09:34:00.002+08:00

Like every good movie, there's bound to be a sequel.
And after every fall, there has to be some picking-up-and-dusting-off to do.

Well, this is mine.

Things have come to a head and I guess in my state and condition right now, the best thing is to pen down my thoughts and publish in a blog for the online community.

Just underwent facial op for my tumour on my right maxillafactory on Tues morning.
Basically now I'm Two-face part-handsome, part Magilla-Gorilla.
Plus i've been given a ten-days medical leave but the downside no solid food just yet Bamm Bamm I gotta slurp porridge, sip milo for every meal till the swelling subsides and I can see the effects of the operation.
It's a painful process and I cannot work out nor can I play competitively play soccer and it is affecting my fat levels and also my muscularity. Sheesh.

Ten days or nonetity and plenty of time to think.
Ponder about what had gone in 2008 and what could have been.
I have 5 more months of 2008 left for a revolucion.
Let's see what I can do.

In the Dumps

2008-03-30T12:11:00.002+08:00

I feel so down in the dumps right now.
Nothing is working out for me.

Back at work, it's becomng hell as colleagues give me the cold shoulder; superiors poking my proverbial backside and I'm walking gingerly on the tightrope of demotion.
9months of suffering and a missed duty beckons to render all that useless.
Argh.

2 months of hesistance and i failed my fuckin 1.03 ... twice muhfuhs ! Bloody hell, at this rate i'm gonna spent a princely sum to get a freaking twoB.
I'm at my freakin wits end.
The heartache is killing me.

And worse, Ive extra DO duty later at night.
Check this and that.
DB Visit.
Guard turnout.
Morning Run supervision.
Staff Parade.

I'm gonna let it all out during soccer later on. Fuck them haters.

KL Menjerit II (Much-awaited heh)

2008-02-18T20:13:00.005+08:00

Be it The Englishmen's New Year or the Lunar New Year or the Muslim New Year,

I just cant shrug the procastinating monkey on me back!

And it weighs a ton.

The all too familiar mode of cheating,er, transport I mean - Cab

Delirious boys going Shopping -Outside Sungei Wang

There's always time for Propaganda - KL City

I'm always lucky number 69 - Carl's Jr(halal, beb!)

Ith gonneth geth messyth! - Carl's Jr BEFORE

What did I tell ya? - Carl's Jr. AFTER!!!

Many many more pics but I believe it best not to disclose. It's of the Edison Chen-Gillian Chung kind.

Lots of skin, hair and basically of no artistic taste or value.

So that is it for me jaunt to the Muddy Estuary,KL. It has been an enriching 3 days where I spent time overseas with two new friends and an 8-month old friend haha with no supervision or authority whatsoevah.

A trip to remember, no doubt.

But if you folks are wondrin why there aint no goin-back-home pictures, well, I gotta say Im an a emotional wreck and I freakin hate departures, ends and Goodbyes.

And I like to sleep on my way back home so no one could have taken any pictures, could they?

Oh well, GoodBye.(arghhhhhh the painnnnnnn!)

KL Menjerit I

2008-02-06T23:19:00.000+08:00

AEROLINE- The Bus That Flies

You Gotta Love My Specs :)

One Word: YUMMEH!

Before They Were Stars

(From Left: Dean, Sin, Jo, Jim)

Stay tuned to Part Two.

Paradigm Shift

2008-02-06T22:55:00.000+08:00

3 days has elapsed since I've made my weary ass from the Muddy Estuary.
And, it has been 3 days into my new posting.
A Platoon Commander at the Basic Rescue Centre(BRTC).

We were briefed on our roles and our appointments earlier on.
I am PC for Bravo Coy Platoon 4 and my current men are gonna pass out in two weeks.
Talk about perfect timing.
Oh, and I gotta say my admin boys really suck cuz they didnt bother to go around tryina scout for their new 'Sir' or assist me with the paperwork or logging in and stuff.
I hope this is just the initial inertia or anymore ineffecacies; I'll charge them and ensure they get lock up in Detention barracks' Dark room, go crazeh, eat their own shit and get locked up in the Padded Cell.
But I'm not that cruel.

Anw, met up with the POP boys earlier this morning and the mood was real high.
They saluted me and this wasnt really smth familiar.
I just commissioned dude!
Self introduction followed and I gotta know their names(name tage big help), their nicknames, their educational background and why they're proud to be in the Force(propaganda but well ..)
I introduced myself and said a few things, that on hindsight I felt was a bit negative.
Nonetheless, the milk has been spilt. All I can hope for is they'll forget what I've said haha like most recruits do and learn from this shortcoming.
I gotta plan what to say, do and act.
I gotta be confident to make them feel confident.
I gotta talk less, do and let them do MORE.
I gotta add more 'I gottas ..... " when I'm through with this batch.

I do hope they've a high and mighty impression of me.
Young leftenant, tall, dashing, charming, talks well, confident
hahaha but I think they see me as adik-adik or kental.

We'll see gentleman, we'll see hahahah

Cobwebs

2008-01-31T23:37:00.000+08:00

As I clear the last cobwebs that have long resided in me room since 1969 ( daym exaggerate ah), I figured why not clear the cob-website that is guaslackjack.blogspot.com.

I know I've promised updates, updates with pics, updates with pics of chics but oh-what-the-hell. Being an officer cadet is no easy feat. Now that I'm commissioned, the stress and responsibilities gonna pile up like the landfill in Pulau Semakau. (step Geography shit)

With great power, comes great responsibility.
But with two pips, come a mountain load of paperwork. DAYM!

Oh oh, and ever since forever, I had finished my final exercises, done all my theory papers( failed, retook and passed) , fine dined with LTC Betty Ting at RTC and hoardes of other senior officers during the 39th BOC Dinin-In and marched in the 39th BOC Commisioning Parade albeit not as a right-marker as some asshole decided he's taller than me and wanna take centrestage, well maybe rightstage but .. you know what I mean.

Granted a 1-week break which is left with a grand total of 4 days which i'm gonna spent in KL, Kuala Lumpur yow! I dont knw man but I dont think I'll spent a great deal of time there seein that I'll reach there arnd 7pm and sunday leavin at 10am. Daym shawt but I'm gonna make fool use, full, I meant of evry moment there. Aint gonna sleep, aint gonna rest.
CHIONG AHHHHH!

Till more pics and souvenirs later, I'll see YOU.

No Glove, No Love

2008-01-06T13:30:00.000+08:00

I realise I aint got no life.

Everyday without fail, I log on to MSN to see which chica is on.
I go on Friendster to see who's viewed me and who's dropped a comment.
I go on FaceBook and read all my notifications and see who bit me, or superpoked me or nominate me for a Superlative.
Then, I click soccernet to read up on soccer news and tabloid fodder.
I go on football365 to cross-examine the results, the rumours and to read the humour-laced editorials by Sarah Winterburn or anyone else for that matter.
And, I go on footytube to see the videos of highlights of the matches played out that I;ve missed since Im so without cable.

Which comes to this conclusion: What suits me is a profession which involves intense sitting, desktop browsing, soccer-fuelled madness.

Soccer Journalism. I'll thrive.

And I'll get admirers everywhere from Friendster and Facebook and Ill set up my myspace and bed every other chica that messages "Hey, asl?"

And I've decided - I needa to-do list evry month for the year to get things done, to get me motivated, to get me moving and to get me off blogging, er, incessantly.
Maybe I can post the to-do list here so that I can blog whilst, you know... two birds .. one stone kinda thing.

And netizens, I think Ive found the perfect female foil for me.
Someone I can really talk to about anything under the sun.
Someone who can make out what I say when people say I talk with marbles in my gob.
Someone who laughs at my off-beat jokes.
Someone I dont feel rimas with.
Someone who I feel completely at ease with.
That someone.

And oh-perfect two second kiss. Fooh.

1 x Exhausted

2008-01-04T22:32:00.000+08:00

Bob Marley's dominating the airwaves this couple of days.

And I just have to let this out somewhere, somehow.

IVE SPENT TOO MUCH FOR THE MONTH OF DECEMBER!!!

Daym.

Before I rant like a pimply teenybopper whose new frills got dashed with ketchup, I shall say three things.

Money.
No.
Enough.

I splurged on some old school shit specs that cost 70bucks (haha?)
Good for laughs and not for attracting girls no?
Frankly I kinda look like crap wearing it and im still tryina pair it with some of me clothes and me hair(short and fuglehhh)
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Before I buy;
I shalt think thrice
I shalt ask alot of questions
I shalt irritate the shopkeeper
I shalt pressure him/her for discounts
I shalt take my time

AND then I'll buy.

Somebody please, slap me.

Oh, let's pray 12Jan comes fast.
Fucken fast.

Ayam Legend

2007-12-30T21:26:00.000+08:00

If i have a chicken rice stall, I'll name it that : Ayam Legend.

Tagline: This ayam no best, this ayam no power, this ayam .. legendddd.

OK, pardon my alter ego fer that but I Am Legend is excellent dude.

Excellente!

Cemerlang!

OOga, ooga!

ching chong ching!

aammmma!

A joy to watch a lone survivor battling against all odds to save his race - the human race with his one last buddy, Samantha his ever loyal ... Dog.

I gotta admit after every movie I always come up with a mental note to self to emulate the main protagonist, the positive traits( positive to me uh, haha) his mannerisms and so on.

I can count myself lucky I rarely watch moviessss but if I did, I'd be schizo thank you.

There were alot of knee jerk moments in the movie where infected zombies came running and bashing out from nowhere in the dark but that wasn't the only thing jerking in my row of seats.

The couple beside me were directing their own home video in the lush comfort of Plaza Singapura cinema.

The show ended with a cure, death and a eulogy.

THEIR show ended with femme legs between male legs and femme head buried in male neck.

Exciting.

Oh well, back to influence.

I Am Legend actually inspired me to:

(a) Work out and get will smith's bod

(b) Dress ruggedly

(d) Hit on femme mannequins

Aye, and it sparked my thirst for more moviessss.

If you have em' can you spare a thought for the needy(me)?

1. Half nelson

2. This Is England

3. Ladder 49 ( true to my fire fighting roots ha ha ha)

Why, thank you you!

Turnout, turnout PL111

2007-12-23T17:26:00.000+08:00

The clock read 1215am.
The BOC attachments were deep in slumberland.
Disappointed that Central didnt even have a major fire call the whole day, the cadets decided to throw in the towel and rest their fatigued bodies in the Admin Office.

A fire call sounded.
No one flinched.
It resounded.
One of em' got up looked around groggily.
It permeated from the PA system for the third time.
One cadet flew off from his perch and the remaining two followed suit.
In hot pursuit of the DO PL111 and the Special Appliance CP111.

We made it in the nick of time and proceeded to don our protective gear in the crammed sardine tin can we termed the Fireman's Cabin.
A close inspection of the situation confirmed the fire to be at Zion Road, adjacent to Jiak Kim Street, home of you know ... drunk girls and drunk girlsssss.

As the PL passed by the unit on fire, thick black smoke billowed out from the apartment and increases my beatrate as I struggled donning.
Getting my BA sets on, I brought the breaking tools to the fire floor and proceeded to evacuate the neighbouring units with help from the LF crew (Red Rhino) from Alex.

We came, we saw and we cliched.
The fire got put out by Sgt Asyik and the meticulous and troublesome process of locating the owner, the witnesses, the caller and liasing with the other men in blue began.

The Fire Investigation Team (FIT) made their way to the unit to determine the cause and the origin of fire. I went in to the unit to assess the unit from whatever angle I fathomed was possible. Wires from the ceiling were hung astrewn, the air conditioning unit melted into a sculpted mess due to the radiant heat. Soot damaged the entire house and rather fortuitously helped us with our investigation providing burn patterns and so forth.

I interacted with Sgt Asyik and he went about how he approached the unit and how he determined the seat of fire and how he used the fire as light to search for casualty and source for ventilation.

The operation lasted a good 3 hours as the PO, the firefighter and me shared a sumptous meal of Prata telur at PL locker no.4.

That was my first fire.
Zion Road.
And the bevy of beauties walking by made the task even more lucrative.

RC Central?

Sugar Pie Honeybitch

2007-12-19T23:54:00.000+08:00

Let me rewind.

**crazy noises of screeching tapes and shrieking metal

It has been a friggin hectic two-three weeks that Im not even sure how many weeks has elapsed and what happened during all those times. Well, summary is always good.

- Start of Field Ex
- Ex Firestorm : fed hoses-> incur backache and lots of anguish
- ZoukOut weekend : Surprised people by saying I'm not gonna be there
- Went for a TRADITIONAL JAVANESE MASSAGE (TJM)-> Enak banget buk!
- More Field Exes (sibei sian!)
- Met up with BBSSians (Zai, Izy, Julz and Hariz) for sisaaaaa

And already now it's technically 15 mins into Hari Raya Haji.
And a day to my attachment at Central Fire Stajiun. woooots!
I''ll be laying hoses in the grand spectacle of .... ORCHARD ROADDDD!
I'll be doing enforcement checks on ZOUKKKKKK!
I'll be carrying drunkards along Singapore River and loading em up the ALPHAAAAA!

Or Ill screw some things up and be the butt of that "fut-up" officer jokes.
Daym the BTM.
Daym the Yellow Jacket.
Daym them bright red hoses.

Engrish Peopre

2007-12-08T10:36:00.000+08:00

Really shows .. how stupid peopre, people, can get.
And they say English is the working language.
That maketh them unemployed, no?

Back in Black?

2007-11-25T16:09:00.000+08:00

Hear ye hear ye.

After a 5 month long hiatus which was supposed to be a 5 day break, (me and my fight against procastination) Gentleman, I am BACK.

Allfrootsriipe is no more as yours truly has taken on a slightly more reclusive role in his everyday on-goings; that of an easy-going dude, crudely known as slackjack.

Updates about the owner; the protagonist; the um, slackjack.

- Transferred from Army to the Singapore Civil Defence on the 25th of June 07
-Given the epaulet of an Officer Cadet Trainee (OCT) now already a Senior OCT
-Now left with 9 weeks of Basic Officer Course Training
-Met 31 other sociopaths lucky enough, or smart enough to enter BOC
-My life ineluctably revolves around Singapore Civil Defence Force, Commr James Tan, Zouk, MOS, soccer, girls and ladies plus women
-Oh, had a girlfriend of two months no more, no less

Now, feeling miserable plus relieved and happy but disappointed.
Such an ironic world everything is an oxymoron.
Ive solitude for company.

I'd love to write more but it'll be overkill, right?
Hahaha.
I promise pictures, more words and graphis the next update yes?

Stay logged in.

POP!

2007-06-14T11:44:00.000+08:00

It's been over 9 weeks and newly-commissioned privates bade farewell to recruitship and the chalet we all come to know as Pulau Tekong.
Over a 45minute parade, then-recruits fought back tears as they recollect memories of their 9 week stay and the changes (be it good or bad) that they've undergone - and the Guest-of-Honour's copious speech.
At the end of the parade, we stood at attention and on cue, we threw our jockey caps high into the Tekong sky and celebrated as if we've ORD-ed.
Not yet, people, not just yet.
We captured images of each other and of our commanders like stricken school girls high on coke, slapped high fives, ogled at the chio bus that made their way, ate our complimentary meal, ogled some more, took MORE pics.

Then we waited for our turn to board the ferry.

9 weeks flew.
The good life is over.
Now to Command School.
Mercy, have mercy on me.

adidas

2007-04-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

Why is Good Friday called Good Friday?
Is tomorrow the only Friday that is Good?
Or is everyone supposed to be good ?

Anyway, my dear friends.
NEWSFLASH:
An adidas selection will be held in Jalan Besar
Stadium and it will feature yours truly in
Team Predator.
He will don the legendary number 6 and red-
black third grade adidas boots.
He urges friends from all walks of his life
to turn up and show some form of support.
You can bring banners glorifying me like
"Dinie Handsome!" or you can just turn up
with your copet faces and oily hair and shout
out "Go Dinie!" every now and then.
If you're interested to burn your Sunday morn
by watching sweaty mats chase after a ball,
then text me or tag me or contact me by
any means necessary.
This IS your last chance to see Dinie with long
flowing locks and indiscipline.

perth GLORY!

2007-03-23T09:35:00.000+08:00

It'll be strangely funny, or if you would have it,
funnily strange to be thrust into a place where
you're the "minority of the minorities".

I gotta get used to seeing "ang moh" like,
everywhere.
And to make a mental note to self that
they're not tourists/foreigners/superior(heh)
or colonial masters.

Till then, gd'day mate!
Me gonna find me self some sheilas =D

D Saster

2007-03-17T18:20:00.000+08:00

MY 5 Tips How Not To Be a Bum;

1)When searching for jobs/employment, avoid
Zara, Topman, Massimo Dutti and other retail
outlets.
Their "fill up the form please, sir" is a highly
deceiving, yet polite way (political) of showing
you the door. =X

2)Do NOT have in youre room your computer,
a sofa-bed and One Piece anime free streaming.
You're bound to be glued to your bed for the rest
of the day; getting up ONLY to pee, shit, drink,
eat and press the play button for the next ep.

3)Have reliable friends to SWEET TALK you
for jobs where they're currently workin and
ensure that the store does not have an
invisible race-bias.

4)Ensure that YOU do not have great passion
for soccer and like-minded friends who text
you every weekend for a kickabout.
They're not your friends.
They're there to make sure you'll stay a bummer.

5)Never EVER own a weblog.

Tag replies: (whoo hoo keep it comin' dudes/ettes!)
secret agent: Mat foh-everrrr brudderrrrrr!
one person: Bakero!
hariz:writer? comic? Dont cha dare think im Kumar.
ali: SMU is grey man. Damn factory, uh.
zali:Props to you too, Jose's protege
faiz:sebok ah lu! XD
julz:Gee, thanks.
munny:mat= dinie, tank kiew

Idiot-syncrasies

2007-03-11T00:09:00.000+08:00

Another day of lepak.
Another bout of idiosyncrasies unearthed.

My friends and I decided to embark on a foolhardy
trip to dear ol' Orchard Road after the Everest-like
tour of the mountainous regions of NUS.
Thank God for the Sherpas (Read:shuttle buses)

And dear lord I've digressed.

Yes, me peeps and I went to town without a solid
plan or any pressing needs.
Typical Malay, siol.

So, we conferenced.
Lepak by the railings facing Lido.
Talked about everything else 'cept
for where to next.
And of course, the continuous sedap-watch.
Typical Malay, siol.

Once we've a reached a definitive location,
there we were;
five hero Melayu asking one another WHAT NEXT
and giving useless, rhetoric, and utterly rubbish
comments that mean anything.
The variations:
"anything"
"sembarang ah"
"50-50"
"see first"
"i'll do whatever you wanna"
Typical Malay, siol.

For some time, it is highly humourous
as we try to come to a decision whilst
laughing at our idiot-syncrasies.
But after a while, wish you WERENT there ah!

And it is somewhat peculiar that almost all Malays
call each other 'Mats' and will object strongly if
another Malay brother calls him a 'Mat'.
Nobody knows what exactly constitutes a 'Mat'
and how one can avoid to become one.
You wear tapered you're branded 'Mat'.
You comb your hair a particular way,
you're branded 'Mat'.
The way you speak, act, laugh,look;
you're branded 'Mat'.
You have bad fashion sense;
you're branded 'Mat'.
You carry small, cheap pouches and hang them
high on your back;
you're branded a 'Mat'.
You pull your baseball cap tightly and wear it
at the edge of your head;
you're branded a 'Mat'.
You ride kapchai;
you're branded 'Mat'.
You sing heartfelt Awie songs;
you're branded a 'Mat'.

It's a harsh world out there for us Malays.
We have to deal with our idiot-syncrasies,
racism, bias, lack of progress, lack of
understanding, lack of understanding and
supporting of progress, racism, bias,
stereotypes.
And now "Mat-isation"
Everything we do is Mat.

And all we do is sit down chill lepak
COMPLAIN.
Typical Malay siol.

Determination

2007-03-05T02:09:00.000+08:00

Almost 0215 hours and I've just witnessed one hell
of a humdinger of a match.
The london derby between westham and tottenham
was of the greatest quality leaving even the most
nonchalant of fans at the edge of their seats.
Right from the get-go to the final whistle
( a whopping seven minutes of injury time)
it was a passionate and all-action affair that
tottenham snatched at the dead.
west ham would feel hard done by but martin
jol's side WILL take anything.
Carlos Tevez had a stormer and should be named MoM,
with an excellent freekick goal(his 1st!)
and two top- drawer assists from Le Scarface.

Sucha match brought back memories of my own
as silent pictures of Innova's match against CJ l
ast season played out at the back of my mind.
I was only slightly concussed but I had
chickened out from the starting eleven with the
butterflies overcoming my conscience and my talents.

I had given up way too easily.
I wasn't determined at all.
Though my team lead through 3 stunning goals
in the 1st half, our defence simply vaporised
in the sweltering heat in the second half
as the CJ attack cut us up like knife through hot butter,
or margarine (if you're THAT health conscious).

I suddenly sense the opportunity to make a name
for myself and told Dalis I was fit for action.
I was brought on and frankly all I did was a
few dummies, a lil one twos and alot of spectating.
We did not win that match neither did we lose.
A sickening draw was registered and I never did
recapture the form that I had in the
NorthZone Tournament.

Fact is, I wasn't mentally tough and headstrong.
I wasn't determined.
I gave up too fuckin' easily.

And as last Friday proved, my weaknesses were
exploited to its bare essentials.
In times of hardship, I simply gave up and took the
easy way out.
With As and Bs flaunted by my friends, I could only
rue my disappointing attributes and ponder
what could have been.

But there I was, holding back a tear as my friends
jubilantly grab hold of their favoured courses in the U
as I am left to feed on scraps they've left behind.

It's tragic.
And it ain't sexy.

D-day

2007-03-01T20:07:00.000+08:00

Months of waiting will end tomorrow.
Undergrad hopefuls converge in their alma mater
anticipating a letter, a paper - whatever - that will
seal their fate, their destiny, their future.

To one and all, good luck.
Wish me too, 'cuz I frikkin much need it.

Crash The Party

2007-02-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

A multitude of cupids invade Planet Earth tomorrow.
Be warned, my impressionable friends.

As a tribute to you single men and wimin out there;
here's a song for you guys. ( and girls)

OkGo - Crash The Party

you're not the prettiest girl in town
i'm not the only boy with sullied clothes and a sullen frown, so
to hell with valentine's, to hell with perfume
to hell with chocolates and picnics
and sinatra tunes
cuz while the rest of the girls are drowning in roses and songs he composes
and while the rest of the guys are all trying
all trying so hard
oh girl, let's crash the party
el dorado on the lawn (hey, hey, hey)
let's burn holes in the carpets
kicking, shouting, dancing on the tables all night long

i'm not so good with subtlety
you wouldn't say that i'm the picture of urbanity
never put much stock in suavity, courtesy, chivalry, gallantry
all that useless jewelry
but while the rest of the girls still sigh for the night he was smiling politely
and while the rest of the guys are all trying
all trying so hard
oh girl, let's crash the party
el dorado on the lawn (hey, hey, hey)
let's burn holes in the carpets
kicking, shouting, dancing on the tables all night long
(oh girl, let's crash the party)
all night
(let's burn holes in the carpet)
all night long

P.S Crash the frikkin party singlehoodies =]

National Experience

2007-02-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

Amid rumours that I'm not cool, I would like to come out
of the shadows and declare that I really am not cool.
I'm just HOT.
Sizzling Hot.

Ok, now that that mystery has been cleared and dusted;
allow me dear readers to fill you in on my latest experience
serving my country, doing all I can to protect my nation's
best interests in the NS.
NS being National Stadium and serving my country being
shouting my head off( plus the occasional 'butoh's) to spur
my national team on in the 1st leg of the prestigious ASEAN
cup finals.

It was chaos right from Kallang MRT to the dinosaur that
is the Kallang, or National stadium.
The carriage I was in was packed and our bodies were
pressed so hard against one another I felt so secured.
No poles or arm grips were necessary.
For once, Singaporeans were there for one another.
To absorb and nullify each other's inertia (Physics?)

Then, there was the mad rush to the Kallang Stadium
where Ahmad (The Other Teck Whye Kid) and I
actually jogged and panted our way there.
Well, I jogged he panted but that aint the point.

An army of red, blue and very much any colour within
the colour spectrum greeted us at the grand entrance of
the stadium.
People were selling off their tickets and their wares.
Faizal and Adib (they had our tix) were virtually invisible.
But thanks to my mobile and my eagle-eyed,er, eyes I
was able to spot the mightily big Faizal and we got our
selves TICKETS.

The match kicked off to much fanfare and wave after wave
of Kallang,uhm, Wave.
I was reserved initially, stunned by the magnitude of
the gathering and the queer Malay family to my left
who basically utilised anything in their possession to
'chope' seats for their yet-to-be-there acquaintances.
Gimme five minutes and there I was in the thick of things.
Shouting instructions to Fazrul Nawaz.
Cursing the Malaysian referee.
Throw in a blazer and a tie and you'll prolly mistaken
me for Mourinho on stilts and a botched nose job.
I have never learn the art of sign language.
But on that day I was throwing in more signs than
a traffic warden on a busy street with faulty lights.
Damn the metaphors!

I tell you, the atmosphere was great.
The sound was deafening.
And the feeling was out of this world.
Who cares what the score was?
Who cares if the Thai team played like cissies.
Who cares how Thai sashayed out of the pitch
when the referee wrongfully awarded the Lions
a penalty?
Who cares .. when you have experience the Kallang
Rawwrrrrr ...

... and the airhorn plus the resounding 'butoh'
that ensued.

Such a magical night, too bad there's a 2nd leg.

Back as in back

2007-02-02T00:22:00.000+08:00

Yep, finally I'm back and well integrated into the
Lifestyle of the Sick and Aimless.
I do not have to wake up at the unearthly hour of 9am.
Nor do I have to embark on a frantic search for my pens
to do the survey.
No more.

The four days of work wasnt quite a breeze.
It was kinda like a gentle storm kinda thing pardon
the oxymoron in gentle storm though.
Me peeps and I havta endure butt busting moments
glued to a rod designed to be a stylish seat to record
each passenger in the queue and the arrival of the taxis
AND the no. of each every 5 minutes.
Dammit.

Was kinda pleased though.
A fair number of hot chicks that make my chic-o-meter
go schwing did pass by us.
Saw old flames, new flames, flamed flames, flames of flames
and not forgettin the voluptuous trannies.
Gosh, trannies!
They look hot, smell hot but dont EVER strain to hear them.
Cuz you dont have to.
They have voices lower than The Movie Voice-over Dudes
and can put the Bass voice in Budak Pantai to shame.
If only they had a mute button so I can admire them
for how they look like and not how they sound like.
Ok, sick.

But there was this caucasian girl whose mother was fucken hot.
Ok, no la.
The girl was waaaaay hot la.
Wa lao wei.
Dammit, singlish.
She had those dreamy eyes and that slim body and that wavy hair
and that wait, not much of a bustline.
But still, my type.
I can see that I AM HER type from the way she tries to avoid eye
contact and pretend not to care.
Maybe there was no pretence.
Oh well, lemme be deluded I'm happy.

The job was more a bore than a chore.
At the end of the day it became a frikkin snore.
The Adult fare really extinguish any hopes of monthly savings.
Plus a wretched trip to the barber that burned a hole in my
pocket and punctured my heart.
But then come feb10th 250 will be in my hands.
And OkGo will be Mine.
Plus, that Ang Moh girl.
And her mom.

Oh, please remind me the salon is EVIL. =x

Jobber

2007-01-25T16:31:00.000+08:00

You heard it here first.

Yours truly have gotten a job!
Albeit a temporary 4-day assignment that is.
Under the authorisation of the almighty LTA,
my buds and I will be stationed at Bugis Junction (BJ)
to count the taxi flow there and the waiting time of
each passenger-to-be.

If you wanna catch me in action, I'll be there from 11-2pm
and 4-11pm everyday from Friday to Monday.
Just to let you in on my salary, all I can say is
twofivezero mofossss!

So, head down to BJ, no, BJ the place exchange some
pleasantries and see me earn money.
Til' exciting days ahead, turrah.
=]

So Much "Fun"

2007-01-11T14:54:00.000+08:00

3 days of interesting days went by wished I was very much
in school, ogling.

The modus operandi: simple.
Wake up at 12.
Eat my BREAKFAST.
Listen to OkGo.
Eat my LUNCH.
Disturb people on MSN.
Work Out.
Wait for the 4pm comedy on Channel 5.
Dance To The Ellen DeGeneres' Show.
Read Interesting and unupdated blogs.
Figure out what I'm gonna do in life.
Feel threatened and afraid of how the A level results
will be like.
Feel warm and fuzzy deep inside thinking about
the short journey in Jc and regretting and feel
threatened and afraid of how the A level results
will be like.
Watch Whatever's showing on the tube.
Watch CSI re-runs.
ER follows.
Put My tube on Sleep Mode.
Zzzz.

Interesting?
You bet.

Oh, please somebody, anybody, evrybody?
Ask me out.
Movie, coffee, hanging out, walk around, talk,
laugh at the lastest teen faux pas, discuss
about the thinning polat ice caps, the ozone layer,
the gravitational pull, Newton's apple, Adam's apple
anything!!!

The number to call/text is 91472194.
I'm not a social escort.
I'm just BORED.

Eleven Minutes

2007-01-03T00:18:00.000+08:00

With what allowance that was given by me momma,
I set my sails to VivoCity to get me some.

Books, that is.
Or rather, Book.
Under a twenty bucks budget, I got meself a Paulo
Coelho masterpiece- Eleven Minutes.
A highly erotic story about the trials and tribulations
of a Brasilian (with an 's' not a 'z') girl and her progression
from an innocent adolescent to a pretty lady.
Stereotypes are discussed and dissected and the wants
and desires of Brasilian women from distant pallid
villages are explored and mentioned with great
intricacy.
A highly stimulating and enjoyable read.
A must for us 'hormone enraged' teens.

And Paulo Coelho writes in Portuguese.
But still his translated version, translated by
a women linguist(perhaps?), evokes great
reactions and rave reviews.
Shows how excellent a writer Coelho is even when
his text might have been lost in translation, it is
still warmly and widely received.
Or Kudos to the interpreter?
Nonetheless, a book never to miss out.

Oh, and thousand apologies Jamie =[
Sorry for buyin you that hot caramel macchiato
and the keys sorry sorry sorry
Hah tho' you still owe me Ben&Jerry's =]

Turrah.

ADULT Fare

2007-01-02T12:12:00.000+08:00

Be warned fellow jc graduates:

As of the1st of Jan 2007 we are technically ADULTS!

The days of concession passes and 45cents or 55cents
bus or train rides are O-v-e-r.
Imagine my shock and disgust when my trip from
CCK to Harbour Front cost me 170cents!
It used to be an affordable 55cents but now, it
has fucken risen by more than twofold!

Shit, what we need(and desperately) is a job
or a sugar mommy/daddy.
HAHA.
Or get into NS ASAP.
There's the NS concession pass.
Or stay home and help mommy bake cookies.

Beat the establishment.
Get CONCESSION!

See YOU Next Year

2006-12-31T23:06:00.000+08:00

Oh finally, an update =]

The month of december was relatively wasted, and no
I did not get wasted(not even close) and here I am with
more hope than regret and more vigour than disappointment.

See today my friends is the last day of what has been a
terrible academic year.
Terrible with a capital 'T' my friends.
Not many things went my way and what I thought
were great things in the makings were just flashes
in the god forsaken pan.
But friends, let me give credit where it is achingly due;
the memories of winning a trophy with the soccer team
albeit it being a warm-up tourney of little importance
much like the InterToto Cup, which by the way was won
by Newcastle, though you dont see them flaunting
their silverware in open-roofed buses decked out in
their conventional black and white hahaha.
So, I digressed.
Pardon me.
Also, credit has to be given to the plethora of
friends that I've met and old friends whose
friendships have been rekindled.
And cyber friends converted into REAL friends.
And friends' friends becoming my own friends.
And enemies that turn out to be a gem of a friend.
And friends who turn out to be wolves in sheeps'
clothings.

I'd like to thank God for everything that has been
bestowed on me, though some may not be what I'd
desire but as they say what doesnt kill you just make
you stronger, or a berth in the ICU but God Has been
far too kind.

Let us wish for a better year ahead in 2007.
Self-development is high on my to-do list and
maybe I will create a Life List and e-mail it to
Ellen DeGeneres.
I might be the first singaporean to be in her show!
A sea of skills to pick up,
a superfluous amount of bad habits to eradicate,
A million strangers to befriend,
And a million enemies to deny.

God, let 2007 be the year of the Dinie.
Amin ya rabbal alamin.

Fassion Pashion

2006-12-18T19:50:00.000+08:00

It is heart wrenching and extremely frustrating that many
if not ALL of my friends dont share the same passion
and enthusiasm I have for soccer.
Hence, organising kickabouts or absolutely anything else
is a fucken chore with some even refusing to reply my
pathetic call for manpower.
Such ease, such ignorance, what the hell is your mobile
for, doofus?
And some just don't bother to turn up feigning too much
sleep and accompanying their calls with yawns and draggy
shaggy voices.
You don't fool me one bit mister, if you're plain lazy just say
No and I cancel the whole fucken she-bang.
And please be polite while you're at it cuz I might just text
FUCK back.

Sheesh, people have gone backward with the technological
juggernaut steam rollering forward and forward leaving
naysayers and doofuses who refused to reply to text
messages floundering in its wake.

Am I angry? Well I oughta be.
I waited the whole night for replies and all
I got was a rude, pathetic No, offering no
apologies nor reasons for their absence.
I know, I'm no school principal nor
their superior to be demanding anything much
from these "friends" but I feel it's only
basic courtesy.

Screw your 3G phones or 2megapixel cam cuz
the main, fundamental function of a phone is
to communicate.
And that includes replying text messages from
your livid soccer enthusiast friend.
Piss.

Tight Jeans

2006-12-09T17:07:00.000+08:00

Don't cha just loath netizens pouring out their emotions,
detailing every inch of their personal life like an itenary
for us reluctant tourist to the Life of So and So.
From the moment they awake, to the moment they
hit the sack no moment is spared exposure.

Or dya just loath smart asses tryina make fun of
bloggers who detail evry move they make, and
every breath they take?

Now that prom is a foregone conclusion, I can play
all I want, slack all I need and eat all I can.
And there'll be loads of time for me to whip up
some wild ideas and self-thought and post em
on my picture-hungry blog.

Replies to tags:
kiat: sorry to disappoint girl =(
kid a: You nazi you, just who in the blue hell is
le whizz kid and le drag?
berr: You've arrived finally, haha. M is u la, honest!
DeeL: A chinaman dressed as a cat is a sign of times.
adiboo: Boo Ya!

Oh, yeah me and my mates are thinkin of havin a
chicnic at Sentosa, this Monday, the day after Sunday
and before Tuesday. Yes.
Any takers?

Till then, Prison Break ROX/ROCKS/RAWKS!!!

Land Of A Million Dumb

2006-12-08T20:53:00.000+08:00

Prom is so Jurassic Period ah.
Ancient history, that is, numbnuts.
Anyway, prom wasn't much of a success nor was it
quite an event.
As forecasted.
Well, haha, I bet you dont wanna another entry by another
netizen from Innova to compile a whole list of why prom
sucked.
Lemme just say, Gimme McDonalds' ANYTIME.
Oh, and I didnt get to be captured in digifilm with
the chics in my college.
Dammit.
And don't cha start looking down on me and shake your head
and wonder how shallow I can get.
Hey, dont blame me.
I'm just an ordinary bloke without a job, without anything to
look forward to and without a girlfriend.
So it's primal instincts that guys like me wanna be
photographed with girls like she.
She= HOT HOT HOT
Oh darn it didn't materialise.
And to think that at least I can leave with a happy stomach.
Or flattering comments on how I appeared.
Noo, people have to look at the scarf.
"Wrong season, bud"
"Winter ah?"
"Brrr..."
"Yasser Arafat is revived!"
Well the last from our neo-Nazi himself, Ahmad.
Haha yup the dowdy Teck Whye Kid
or rather, the other Teck Whye Kid, that makes
the original Teck Whye Kid look good.
Heh, props Mad.
Even so, I believe Ahmad should have clinched the
Prom King title.
Guessed he dressed the MOST .. well, unique.
But nooo, he wasn't even in the top4.
Just shows how much hatred Nazis or mock-Nazis
have garnered over the years.
Well, for the scarf, let's just say on the night Dinie's
scarf is as essential as Ms Yeo's wig evryday.
And you bloody hell dont make a fool of me or Ms Yeo ok?

On to another issue, i think Bernice is secretly reading my blog.
How does she know M!
Dammit.
Well, Bernice if youre reading this, how does my butt feel?
HAHAHA.
Oh, and before I forget, Bon Voyage Jamie aka Eleanor.
Have a pleasant trip to the Philippines and enjoy every
breathing and sleeping minute of your time there!
I WILL miss you but felix, I dont know heh ok sorry!
And to all the other numbnuts that I know, if you're
heading overseas all the best we will pray for your safety.
And for those choosin to stay their sorry asses here in
Singapura, suit yourself.

Turrah.

Starlight

2006-12-04T00:50:00.000+08:00

Prom is in a day's time and lemme say this,
Boy does time fly!
Darn it my get-up's far from ready haha and
its every bit as dowdy as Cher in her prime.
Hmm, without pics and the exuberant colours
of the oft-underrated film my blog is stale.
Pallid.
Dull.
Ahmad.
Blearghhh.
Into the fourth day of my weight training schedule and
Boy does time fry! fly!
The weight plates are rusty haha and the metallic sheen
is peeling off golly.
Just got down to repainting the plates in an apparent bid
to mask the defects or the wear and tear.
My right arm dont feel that good though.
Kinda like overstretched.

So what I need to overcome all these problems:
Money. The root of all evil.
The impetus to my happiness.
So is happy evil or is evil happy?

Oh one last thing, anyone with a digicam that works
and which looks stylish; I need yours... for prom and most
importanly after prom heh .. let the world be your
witness I'd say.

Till then lemme rub my hands in glee and adjust my mask;
Prom 06 here i come!

Electrical Storm

2006-11-26T20:55:00.000+08:00

Like a fish outta water, there I was gasping for air; flipping
about but doing nothing much to my cause or anyone's really.
For the first time ever, I was a lost sheep needing, rather
badly, a map around a dense concrete jungle.
Thing was, I am no sheep and the concrete jungle is merely
a vast piece of land we fondly refer to as 'field'.

My stamina was off, my touch was awful and I did not even
have the opportunity to shoot.
I couldnt even dribble; with mud and fear restricting the
twinkle toes that once assumed position in my feet.
I am disgusted and furious.
Im now a pallid shadow of what I was.
My heart hurts to have let my team down;
to have let myself down.
At 18 is my dream all but over?

I yearned to be a pro soccer player, a model player
in fact who is highly focussed in his life as a soccer
player.
One who astounds more than he disappoints;
one who excites rather than be a mere pedestrian.
One who could be relied on to conjure pieces of magic
at the highest level.
I count Zidane, Ronaldinho and C.Ronaldo as my idols.
I hope to be like them; claw my way out of Singapore
and impress foreigners paying good money to fill
stadiums week in week out.
But with the recent performances, doubts would be
cast even if I try out for a ballpicker's role.

This free-fall should halt and disobey all the laws of physics
and increase exponentially, against all odds.
Fuck you haters, Im gonna get there.

Riot Van

2006-11-24T20:05:00.000+08:00

My throat hurts.
My head throbs.
But passion prevailed.
I went down to innova and had a friendly round
of street soccer with my buddies.
My TEAM was strong man.
There was John the Fat Ronaldo and there was
Deadly Drog Aiman and there's Zaki (haha!) plus
Ronal-dinie-ho and last AND CERTAINLY
NOT LEAST SLeague Player and recent
SLeague Champion Mustaqim Manzur of SAF.
Scored a superfluous number of goals and I felt
I really connected well with the team esp
Mus haha, I might just be cut out for pro soccer
after all. Hmm =)
On the downside, Zaki claimed my game was below
my usual HIGH standards heh and my dribbling ability
was down.
Hard to stomach, but I guess that's the truth man.
Maybe it was the illness but excuses aside there's
gotta be some way to regain my confidence, courage
and guile.
I used to cut through defence like hot knife through
butter.
I used to be running up and about and feeding team
members or feeding off them.
Maybe my dribbling tricks have been overexposed
and become Cristiano-predictable.
Time for a rebirth.
The buck stops here.
Daa.

Fuhreee

2006-11-22T00:27:00.000+08:00

I am so free I can paint and repaint my toenails every half
hour. But of course my dear friends, I dont do that.
I've got better stuff to do like sourcing for the Britney-KFed
Sex Tape or rehearsing my OkGo moves.
But then again, I still have soooo much time.
Since I've got so much frikkin time, I'm gonna turn this blog
into the Chronicles of Skinny: The Man You Hate to Hate and
Love to Love.
Upon reading you're gonna yawn and yawn and you're gonna
wake up the next morning and complete the cycle all over again.
Suck frikkin wankers!

Anyway, a major tiff erupted in the household as my dad went
on his promise and denied me my boyhood liberties of indulging
in the age old game of football.
Ah so I got fed up of being cooped up in my room sourcing for K
Fed's night of amore so I decided to run away ...
to my aunt's place.
Im a rebel, I know =)
Ah so, I was able to wander about freely and have
good long chats with my aunt while my momma was
away in SGH. She's not sick she's just a labrat for
Pfizer and a rich one too. Foo!

So Tuesday I decided Home Aint Sweet If You Have Too
Much of It. Hence I texted all my close peeps, those
who have the passion for soccer, those who have the
fuckin commitment and those who can be trusted out
for an outin to Queensway and then a friendly kickabt.
Conclusion I came up with today is that Thevane Kumar
s/o Siva IS A FUCKIN WANKER.
What a pisshead fucktard!
But guys, Starbucks; or Starhub as Yamin refers to it was
SWEEET. Do it often and we'll get closer and our coffers get
emptier.
Life sucks and then you die.
But wait, if you're Muslim and you pray five times a day and
u dont drink nor eat pork, you go to heaven.
But then again life doesnt suck if you've 32 profile views on yer
Friendster in less than 2 days and friends who live on your jokes.
Ah so that's two days in summarised summary to sum up what
I've summate in two days.
Oh, and AHMAD FAKHRUDDIN IS DOWDY, UNHIP AND SO
PASSE.
Right Teck Whye boy?
heh =)

WOOO

2006-11-17T21:17:00.000+08:00

Thousands islandwide heave a ginormous sigh of relief today,
not because Mr Bush had left but the A levels had come to its
conclusion. It has been two years of slog and hard work (hehe)
and the memories with friends, the hot teachers and certain
hot students will be forever etched in my mind. The friends who
laugh to the tune of my jokes; snide remarks and callous bickerings
friends who were there through the thick and thin and then there
were who fled for pastures anew.
The thick stacks of assignment that were not done and will remain
undone.
The weathered and battered notes due to the inorganisation of my
bag and also spilled soya bean.
The memories of ole-ing opposition and leaving them to eat my dust.
The phototakings, the birthday celebrations, the entry proof, the
fountain pen, the fountain pen ink, the re-fuelling of the fountain pen
with the fountain pen ink during exam.
I can prolly go on and on and
the waterworks will start to flow so I wont.
See im macho.
I dont cry.
I wear boxers.
I am ALPHAMALE! EARGHHH. ok.

The time has definitely come for me to embark on a new odyssey.
One that'll expose me to the cruelty of life, the snob of snobs, the
sharpest of backstabbers.
I'm gonna find a job, earn money, get a girlfriend, dump her before NS,
shave bald and be ribald in NS.
Hopefully get selected in trials (if any)
Hopefully obtain car licence
Hopefully make more friends

So much things to do and SO MUCH TIME.
A vacation I'll remember fer life ...

Till then, i l u m

It Ain't Over Til' It's Over

2006-11-09T19:42:00.000+08:00

I Can already scent the green of grass;

I Can sense the lustre of the globe gleaming effervescently

The leather against my skin;

Is not entirely of erotic fantasies;

Nor is it a turn to masochism;

God! Words fail to reach me;

In seven days it shalt be;

The end of ends;

the dawn of dawns

And footy takes centrestage.

Just some words to entertain you kids who've been
fairly disappointed by my absence. So nothing much is
up in cyber-Earth. Blogs remain unupdated.
My tagboard lay in ruins.
It's increasingly, rather worryingly, becoming a three way
chat room with me and zali and occasionally arfandi.
Hahaha.
Oh well, 2 years of pre-university studies culminates in
a hectic 7 day finale.
A sea of friends made;
Oceans more await;
Knowledge deepened;
Blood pressure hastened.
Notes and books, luck and prayers.
Accompany us for the final years.
Approach the exams, not with fear;
In Pink Floyd's words, Wish you were here.

Til' then The Poet Has Left The Building.

XOMG!

2006-11-04T17:41:00.000+08:00

Last time I checked, it was 13 weeks away.

Five minutes ago, I realised there are only 13

DAYS LEFT.

Be Afraid. Be Fuckin Afraid.

XOMG!

The Dawn

2006-11-03T03:47:00.000+08:00

Ah ... so it starts.

JC2 students in this miniscule pink nipple of an island braced
themselves for what is to be the most hectic month in their
entire lives. Despite having braved unearthly hours neck-deep
in books, notes and caffeine, these pimply 18 year olds are still
wondrin', is this enough?

Oh well, I guess such notions only appear in the minds of
students in the "lesser" JCs. I bet RJCians, NJCians and other
smart-assed college pre-grads can help but to smile whilst
perusing through their lecture notes, knowing what they know
and not knowing what they don't; and Im under the assumption
they know ALOT in fact ALL. It is without a doubt that before
every paper and after every prayer, there's a region in their
amazingly-coiled brains that says " Im gonna pwn this".
Heck even some RJ kid found time to blog about a complaisant
Singaporean in such a ribald way that would put TalkinCock to
shame. (She had the luxury of time to blog about elitism!
Well, so do I but I know nuts about elitism. See!)

Oh gosh, one paper down, three frikkin more to go.
And 15 MORE DAYS TO FREEDOM.
Let us toil now Innovians!
Limit your web time.
Stop thinkin about food.
Soccer, later.
Girlfriend? After NS.
Practice what you preach. heh

Cmon, let's pull up everything that should be pulled up,
let's put in that extra bit of effort.
And 15 DAYS will whittle to 7 days and 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
And all hell breaks loose.

My Name is Skinny.
See ya in 15 days.
Turrah.

Happy Raya!

2006-10-24T11:29:00.000+08:00

After one month of toil and hardship as we embattle our
croaking stomachs and hoarse pharynx plus casting
aside our earthly desires, we have come to its summit.
Muslims worldwide deserve a pat on the back.
Rejoice my fellow Muslims, a month of restraint and
control have passed and boy have we excelled. Now
for one day of celebration with the loved ones and the
ones always close to heart.

This season's Raya celebrations have been marred some
what by the anti-climatic A levels. Haha, let us not dwell on
this dour subject in this day of merriment.
On a brighter note, this year's Raya coincides with my
eighteenth birthday.
Double bonanza I guess.
The pride of stepping into adulthood or near-adulthood
with the company of your family and relatives
and having a superfluous amount of goodies to gorge.
Not that I'm fat to start with. =)
Plus, the flurry of the green packets.
Now can you tell me how many souls have had that luxury?

Oh my am I truly blessed to be able to grace this occasion, with
fervour and enthusiasm, along with members of my clan.
And, a satiated stomach and a bulging pocket or pockets to boot.
To one and all, Selamat Hari Raya!
Minal Aidil Wal Faizil!

Hazy Rayer

2006-10-23T20:24:00.000+08:00

To every Muslim residing in this little RED dot, to

every one who knows me and to everyone who

unfortunately don't ...

Selamat Hazy Raya.

To the Bindippers Fans aka Liverpool Fanatics,

I told you SO!!!!

Like Whoa...

2006-10-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

The date is set.

Oct22 two thousand six.

1200 GMT and 0800 in Singapore.

The Mancunian army will be pitted in the same arena

against the Kop.

Brits enjoying their tea and south east asian muslims

spitting their 'kurma' seed will be treated to a spectacle.

A battle of epic proportions.

The clash of the red titans of England.

European champs, english champs, carling cup champs;

is a darn long C.V and tomorrow will decide who will

snatch the bragging rights for year 2006.

Be there, red scarves adorning yer neck and 'rempeyek'

in hand supporting your favoured red team or be at a

mosque, so-very near you.

Terawih ah member!

TEAM TALK:

ManYoo are certainly growing from strength to strength.

Even with several key players missing, they were able to

gormandize on Wigan and FC Kobnhavn.

Enfant terrible, Wayne Rooney, was made captain during the

midweek encounter with FC Kobnhavn and was truly

inspiring in the role in the hole.(foo!)

Giggsy, Rio, The Neviller and Gaby will all be in contention

for the starting line-up this Sunday. And let's all not forget the

contributions of Carrick, Scholesy, Ronnie, Evra and Vida.

ManYoo cannot look any better.

Pool comes into the match on the back of indifferent form.

A draw against Black'eye' Rovers last week and a determined

win away to Bordeaux relates the tale of the Scousers this

season. Rafa 'The New Ranieri' Benitez will almost surely

continue with his tinkering fetish and leave every Pool

play in suspense, bar none.

Opponents arent sure whose gonna start and improvisations

have to be made on the feet.

Players themselves have to prepare themselves cuz' they arent

extremely certain who'll start and who'll warm the side bench.

Crouchie is certainly in top gear, notching yet another goal agst

the French opposition.

Bellamy is settling in and showing signs of replicatin his form of

yesteryears.

And Dirk Kuyt's blond.

Not to mention the return of the Scouse of Scousers, a

certain Mr Stevie G.

This promises to be an explosive match that no one

can miss out, unless of course terawih takes precedence.

Prediction: ManYoo 2 - Pool 0

I'm biased, so bite me.

Consultation

2006-10-19T17:29:00.000+08:00

Lahve

2006-10-13T15:12:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH.

MY CLASSMATES LOVE EACH OTHER SHOO MUCH

WE'RE GONNA HAVE DINNER TOGETHER AT

VIVO CITY.

SWEET.

And why no pics mademoiselle?

ShiBBy!

2006-10-10T16:42:00.000+08:00

Anyway, check out today's TNP.
Flip to page 55.
Letter of pomp and elegance awaits.
-DINIE AFIQ-
My name looks nice on TNP. =)

Ok Kids

2006-10-05T18:39:00.000+08:00

Ya'll can heave a sigh of relief now, I'm back.
Well, not exactly bett'r than ever, Im just back.
So whilst I was away, I had my ankle sprained and recovered,
feuds started and unsettled ( the perpetrator was a teacher,
a Math teacher in fact screw him), heart broken, head-banged-
on-wall-due-to-fantabulacious-results AND AND AND nearly
got conned.

Oh well, my life is mundane HAHA serinaw =)

Private jokes aside, I feel it'll be for my betterment and your
voyeuristic satiation that I share with you my academic state
of affairs. Tell you the truth, it's as good as my grades in J1.
So I've maintained status quo, and you sure as hell aint gonna
see me shout this out around town.
My Sciences are in disarray.
My Math thankfully is on the up-and-up.
My Gp, well what can i say?

But overall, fucky sucky holmes!

And now Imma trying my best to salvage the situation,
damage control of the academic kind. But once i get down
to those notes, a flurry of images overload my senses as
images from the past conjure up unwittingly in the middle
of my study session. I smile to myself the pleasant things
I've done, heard, seen and was a part of.
And cringe, when I think about what could have been,
academic wise.

Two years have ghost by; but I sure have met many
kindred spirits. To these individuals, thank you.
And to that Math teacher, YOU CAN SUCK MY
BALLS holmes.

Off to work, children, turrah.

disblessingguise

2006-09-10T17:54:00.000+08:00

Three days before your exams, never ever play soccer.
Do not even entertain thoughts of playing, fiddling, jugg-
ling or shooting the ball. It might result in utmost dire
ramifications.

Trust me.
I found out the hard way.

Ego bruised. Ankle ballooned.

And if you wanna de-stress, maintain a healthy distance
from engaging in the full-blooded sport of football, really.
Watch soccer. Or play DOTA. Destroy your sister's
Barbie dolls. Or you brother's prized Star Wars collectibles.
Hell, visit Orchard. You never know which advertising
firm cum modelling agency might wanna hire you.
Whatever the case, soccer is a no-no.

Okay kids, off to apply some deep heat.

htraE

2006-09-07T15:13:00.000+08:00

Things that make us human, for real:

The wacky and uber-courageous Steve Irwin died of
cardiac arrest, linked to a sting from a well, stingray.
Your legacy lives on, CrocMan!

Two highly skilled Argentinians only at the ripe age
of twenty two spurning the megabucks of gargantuan
European clubs to play in the modest, yet dashing
club of West Ham United.
Step forward, Messrs Carlitos Tevez and Javier
Mascherano.
At least there's still pride and loyalty left in pro
soccer/football/futbol.

Oh well ...
Another period of break from school, another bout of
guilt, idle, regret and disappointment.
Life's Beautiful ain't it?
At least the only things I have to worry about are my prelims,
A levels, incessant noise from teachers, more noise from
parents, the urge and the guilt thereafter to play footy, which
cafe in which library to study at, which food to eat at which
restaurant. This list goes on and on.
Fact is, this list underlines this huge vital fact.
We HAVE a FRIKKIN choice.
Now think of the kids in Africa, say Tanzania, Botswana,
Kenya, Timbuktu, Zulu, Bulu, whatever ...
These are the paupers of paupers.
Even rags are considered luxury.
Think about them, and then think about yourself.

Bono's sure proud of me.

Turrah.

P.S Let's all hail the new heroes of St James Park;
Olivier Bernard and Antoine Sibierski.

.islum.

Er, guhdammit

2006-08-30T00:07:00.001+08:00

Dear Diary,
in what is my eightieth post so far, I had hoped to be the
bearer of excellent news. However, things do not usually
follow your frame of thoughts. Instead, I am the harbinger
of doom.

It was a rather eventful day.
My Radar was on and functioning like a well-oiled machine.
Pearly whites.
Pearly whites, people.
The scenery was ineffable.

Then, in the confusion of the current academic tangle I am in
now I became ludicrously stressed out over every single
matter. Hyper sensitive even. You could say I was on hair-
trigger mode.

In that jumbled mess and turbulence, things got kinda out
of hand and the dormant doofus in me began to show signs
of activity. I was in a trance-like phase, where my eyes
were fixated onto the computer screen; whereas my
fingers were swiftly rapping over the keyboard.
What came out illustrated with immense clarity what I
truly felt and what I truly want * to know.
But diary, once I pressed the SEND button, a pang of
guilt shot through my body and I knew this time I think
I had gone overboard.

I had gone overboard diary,
I had frikkin gone overboard.

I cant reveal to you the content of what I wrote and sent
cuz' it's way too embarrassing for a guy of my stature
to be publicising his romance, or failed attempts to forge
romance. Either way diary, fact of the matter is, I pain-
stakingly kept awake so as to draft this few sentences of
apology TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.

I have no intention of malice nor do I have any idea of
offending you, *.
*, I do not know how you've reacted to the message
and I'm sure that was of an unpleasant one.
Hence, I am sorry, *.

What I wrote truly reflects what I feel.
As they say, the pen IS mightier than the sword.

.ilum.

FAT

2006-08-26T12:25:00.000+08:00

I DO NOT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THE
HORIZONTALLY CHALLENGED.

I love them, in actual fact.
With friends like them, who needs a pillow?
=)

Just added some white thingamajig down there, on
your left, yeah that one.
Play it.
Hum it.
Groove to it.

Hope it happens to me come Thursday.

Skinned

2006-08-22T09:15:00.000+08:00

Waiting for the monochromatic red lights perched atop the
different rooms to blink out my queue number, I flipped
through the Straits Times in hope of seeing some fine girls
on the Life! Section or some interesting articles that could
pique, well, my interest.

All I saw was a smiling Datuk K in a splendid white outfit
having managed the greatest coup in the century;
snagging his newly-initiated wife,
the pop or "popped" Princess herself, Siti Nurhaliza.
What the hell was she thinking?
Of all the 27 year old Malaysian guys in the federation,
why dya pick this old, filthy-rich git?
Oh, filthy-rich.
And Datuk K; that smile of yours is of utter disbelief,
I am sure.

Oh crap, I digressed.
Back to being Dknee the sick(medically) Singaporean
student.
And then, I flipped open the Digital Life section.
There she was!
No amount of inhalers could have liberated me from
the sight of her smiling face.
That left me with a tingling, warm fuzzy feeling deep
inside.
But was I jealous!
The male model, or her "partner" wasn't model material
at all!
Typical looking Chinese lad.
Sucky hair.
Sucky dress sense.
I bet he's got a paunch and B.O.
And he had all the fortune in the world;
to be pictured with the stunning beauty.
Poor she!
Rascal!
Prick!
Fuglehboy!
Before I get wayyy overboard and chant racist slogans, I
better stop here and start popping my Bromhexine and
Chloropheramine.
Dump them Subutex, please.

.ilum.

Roses

2006-08-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

There she was just a-walking down the street singin ...

God must be smiling really brightly at me.

Anything I touched turned into a splendour of roses.
Anything I saw were a feast for the eyes.
Anything I heard was music to the ear.
Anything I said came out like the best-dressed poems
of Shakespeare himself.
Anything I tasted was sure as hell, better than chicken.

Ascribe it to luck, fate or destiny; I had a wonderful time.

Wondeful is so much of an understatement.

We saw.
You query.
We greeted.
You query.
We conversed.
You query.
We smiled and had a great time.
You turn green, with utmost envy.
We?
I query.

.ilum.

Hmm

2006-08-14T02:33:00.000+08:00

25 days went by without an entry in the ever-so

popular blog of mine. Friends complain.

Families torn apart. Even our dearest Uncle Mohan

cried foul-play!

Truth is, I've been mulling over a new blogskin for

weeks now.

The Legend of the Plan was to find a new, whoppingleedo-

delicious blogskin and be one with the keyboard.

Unfortunately, search results on blogskins.com have

turned up less than favourable designs and the silence

had to continue, till now.

Even though there is still no new skin or any fancy razz

matazz here, I've decided to let the rantings, wailings

and intelligent musings take centrestage.

Why border with an expensive Amazonian rare mahogany

frame when you've got the Mona Lisa?

Oh blog connoisseurs, yeah you of fine, exquisite taste.

You've come to just the place.

Hang around cuz this is just the beginning of something

really wonderful.

Till my next worthwile debate, my name is Skinny.

.ilum.

Hips Do Lie

2006-07-18T21:18:00.000+08:00

Some blogs are just not meant to be read.

They post pictures that saddens you and forms that

huge lump in your throat and makes you wonder;

Am I that slow?

Why she so liddat? (Why is she behaving that way?)

Is it any wonder I'm tired?

Is it any wonder that I feel uptight;

It's relatively fun to have a target in school.

Cuz' you'll be hunting for her every break and recess;

after dismissal; whilst walking through the corridors to

your next class.

Your friends or "friends" will help you to hunt.

Social bonding I'd say.

Then when the target comes within close proximity or

is spotted, boy dont their mouths shoot on sight.

Bottom line, it is fun being single.

Getting tongue-tied, lip-locked, jelly legs when the target

comes up to you and says Hi or smiles or shows you the

middle finger.

Furthermore, you can have as many targets as you want.

You can come up with nicknames, codewords or derogatory

terms to refer to them.

But of course for sucha joy to be spoilt by pictures from blogs

is extremely disheartening.

A picture speaks a thousand words;

It also draws a thousand tears ;(

Sedition?

2006-07-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

Never worry friends, I ain't dead nor concussed.

Just plagued with too much work on my hands.

Plus the fact that there is only 24 hours a day and

I'm not talkin pure waking time.

Almost, a significant part of it is spent on our bedbug

infested mattress, charting the world map on our

pillow with our very own saliva.

Personal touch.

Oh oh, am reading this Adrian Mole book, The Weapons

of Mass Destruction by Sue Townsend.

To cut his long story short, Mr Mole is a lucky geek who

has a wide array of peers and spending each day tending

to customers to his bookshop or dealing with strange folks

with stranger behaviour. And of course there's always

the SEX.

Oh oh, and didja guys catch Singapore Idol?

Phew finally that farce-disguised-as-a-talent-show is

living up to last season's edition.

The sound system have vastly improved and I gotta

say the stage is one of the coolest I've seen on Teevee.

The contestants?

Jasmine is chio, gayle somewhere there and emilee

totally off.

Oh it's a singing competiton?

So that was what they were tryina do!

Hmm, hadi was great, gayle ok ok, err paul twotits --

sweeet.(I smell pretty?)

Oh and the Judges.

Dick Lee has great dress sense man.

Never shying away from wearing sharp suits and blazers

with smiley buttons.

Well, he's gotta deviate attention away from his face right?

His comments: Spot on, that's what I feel and fink.

The Ah Lian Florence. Hair's gettng better maybe she's got

new hairdressers or better weather.

However, those thick deep lines on her neck. Sick?

I rather get a Ribery Scar =).

Well, no scar, never eee.

And the Flo got some wit too. Kudos!

Ja ja ja. Abishegenaden (pants)

Good thing she wore that low cut number.

The only thing deep was her cleavage.

Her comments were careless bordering on the

superficial.

Ken is just weird lah.

Sometimes I wonder whether we're tuning in to the

same show cuz his critiques this season were sometimes

way way off.

Oh Norman got sent home.

Poor chap. Sucha filial son.

Nice guys do finish last.

And Ja Ken Flo Dick (Ya can flow dick?)

refrain from calling your attorneys please.

Im just a bored pubescent having a go at

you celebs getting wanton airtime and wanton

wages.

So, turrah =)

Rock Hard

2006-07-07T21:53:00.000+08:00

Mama mia!

After quite a lengthy absence, a mock testimonial match

plunge me into a match against the other j2s.

My mood was up and was entirely motivated to do extre-

mely well for my team.

We kinda got off on the wrong foot as a header squirmed

pass our defender at the far post.

Silly, silly goal to concede.

The keeper was rubbish.

The wing backs atrocious I should say.

I had a coupla shots on target and a header skimmed

the cross bar.

Although our attacking play was sumptuous at times,

the Troubled Trio proved to be the weak links in the

chain, the chinks in our supposed armour.

I kinda got impatient in the second half and

frustration set in.

There was a keeper change that did nothing but

exacerbate matters.

Their attackers stroked the ball into the net with super

lative ease and the game was seriously turning into a

farce, with both set of players punctured by cramps

and exhaustion.

Unworthy.

Why do I always get sucha disoriented and screwed up

squad?

Gosh.

Kudos tho to my centre backs, midfield and strikers.

You guys worked your yellow socks off man.

Hubris

2006-07-06T20:48:00.000+08:00

It sucks to have insensitive braggarts for friends.

Those who have immense hubris and wears different

masks for each day, every day.

It also sucks to receive grades that are way way lower

than what your Intelligent Quotient permits you to.

I'm so not used to this.

Adn tanhk yuo fro spndeing tmie off form yuor riveison

to see my bolg bkicrinegs adn cmoptialns.

Sllpenig mghit scuk but yuo raed it aynawy.

Hols

2006-07-04T17:34:00.000+08:00

The holidays were not fully utilised for the benefit

of my academia.

They now lay as waste, probably on the same tanker

to the numerous incineration plants in Pulau Semakau.

As such, I bore the brunt of the lack of studies and

thorough preparation.

Not happening for the first time, this might even evolve

into a niggling habit that I simply cannot snip out.

God Forbid.

I felt I let my teachers down, my parents and most

ultimately myself.

You know the feeling where someone hopes for

something from you and YOU fail to deliver?

It sucks not to be the Mailman.

Another day, another adventure.

Turrah.

Al-kinki

2006-07-02T12:48:00.000+08:00

7 hardened individuals plucked their courage, peeling

their bodies of their soft, luscious mattresses to converge

in the unearthly hour of 8AM.

Faizal, Yamin, Shahril, Dinie, Shihan, Peng, Ahmad and

Aiman form the tandem cheekily, and yet stylishly

named Elham al-Kinki.

We arrived at Henderson Park to the stares of many.

Us in the royal blue hues of Innova, and them in a

kaleidoscope of colours.

We're fifth in line with the 1st match pitting us against

Kaki Bangku FC.

It was al-Kinki most of the time as our defence absorbed

their rare forays upfield and we plotted several delicious

counter attacks.

Resilience the key as their defender rammed the ball against

my right foot and the ball flew into the right hand corner

of the goal.

Advantage al-Kinki.

Subsequently, we won the game 1-0,2-0 and 1-0 to reach

the tournament's semis.

Up against Caltex SS, we were more than a match for them

but towards the end they exerted a wee bit of dominance

but thank God for Faizal's heroics we're kept in the game.

It ended in a stalemate and the match was to be decided

on penalties.

Sudden death penalties.

Their taker beat Faizal with ease but Aiman shot straight

at their custodian, the pressure really sinking into

him.

Nonetheless, a great team effort and Aiman was faultless

to say the least.

From that match on, things didnt seem to click.

Our unbreached defence was tested numerous times by

the enemy and they duly scored amid a scramble from a

kick-in.

The only goal al-Kinki conceded in 5 matches.

We finished fourth.

Playing our hearts out, waiting out butts off,

we returned empty handed, but with pride and

dignity intact.

Kudos Elham Al-Kinki!