Dump

I feel so down.
It's just so spontaneous, so natural I'm almost embracing the fact that I'm down.
Not to say that there is not a chimera of hurt, anger or gap in me.
But question me not for I myself cant put a finger on what's bothering me and making me feel in the dumps.
It has been 20 yrs of my life and it has been riddled by unachieved potential, bloated promises and hesistancy.
20 yrs of I should, I could not I have, I had, I am !
Am i too hard on myself?
Is my quest and thirst for self-improvement, success and glory retarding me?
Is the yearn for the positives churning out more negatives.
Im saddled with too much thought and far too little actions.
And I can envisage some of you sniggering when reading this post for Ive just wasted a fraction of my day writing out this post.
Well, I have and I shouldn't.
But I did.

My thoughts are in a mess right now.
Fuzzy even.
And I'm sooo down
So down in the dumps.