Electrical Storm

Like a fish outta water, there I was gasping for air; flipping
about but doing nothing much to my cause or anyone's really.
For the first time ever, I was a lost sheep needing, rather
badly, a map around a dense concrete jungle.
Thing was, I am no sheep and the concrete jungle is merely
a vast piece of land we fondly refer to as 'field'.

My stamina was off, my touch was awful and I did not even
have the opportunity to shoot.
I couldnt even dribble; with mud and fear restricting the
twinkle toes that once assumed position in my feet.
I am disgusted and furious.
Im now a pallid shadow of what I was.
My heart hurts to have let my team down;
to have let myself down.
At 18 is my dream all but over?

I yearned to be a pro soccer player, a model player
in fact who is highly focussed in his life as a soccer
player.
One who astounds more than he disappoints;
one who excites rather than be a mere pedestrian.
One who could be relied on to conjure pieces of magic
at the highest level.
I count Zidane, Ronaldinho and C.Ronaldo as my idols.
I hope to be like them; claw my way out of Singapore
and impress foreigners paying good money to fill
stadiums week in week out.
But with the recent performances, doubts would be
cast even if I try out for a ballpicker's role.

This free-fall should halt and disobey all the laws of physics
and increase exponentially, against all odds.
Fuck you haters, Im gonna get there.