Idiot-syncrasies

Another day of lepak.
Another bout of idiosyncrasies unearthed.

My friends and I decided to embark on a foolhardy
trip to dear ol' Orchard Road after the Everest-like
tour of the mountainous regions of NUS.
Thank God for the Sherpas (Read:shuttle buses)

And dear lord I've digressed.

Yes, me peeps and I went to town without a solid
plan or any pressing needs.
Typical Malay, siol.

So, we conferenced.
Lepak by the railings facing Lido.
Talked about everything else 'cept
for where to next.
And of course, the continuous sedap-watch.
Typical Malay, siol.

Once we've a reached a definitive location,
there we were;
five hero Melayu asking one another WHAT NEXT
and giving useless, rhetoric, and utterly rubbish
comments that mean anything.
The variations:
"anything"
"sembarang ah"
"50-50"
"see first"
"i'll do whatever you wanna"
Typical Malay, siol.

For some time, it is highly humourous
as we try to come to a decision whilst
laughing at our idiot-syncrasies.
But after a while, wish you WERENT there ah!

And it is somewhat peculiar that almost all Malays
call each other 'Mats' and will object strongly if
another Malay brother calls him a 'Mat'.
Nobody knows what exactly constitutes a 'Mat'
and how one can avoid to become one.
You wear tapered you're branded 'Mat'.
You comb your hair a particular way,
you're branded 'Mat'.
The way you speak, act, laugh,look;
you're branded 'Mat'.
You have bad fashion sense;
you're branded 'Mat'.
You carry small, cheap pouches and hang them
high on your back;
you're branded a 'Mat'.
You pull your baseball cap tightly and wear it
at the edge of your head;
you're branded a 'Mat'.
You ride kapchai;
you're branded 'Mat'.
You sing heartfelt Awie songs;
you're branded a 'Mat'.

It's a harsh world out there for us Malays.
We have to deal with our idiot-syncrasies,
racism, bias, lack of progress, lack of
understanding, lack of understanding and
supporting of progress, racism, bias,
stereotypes.
And now "Mat-isation"
Everything we do is Mat.

And all we do is sit down chill lepak
COMPLAIN.
Typical Malay siol.